The Evolution of a Green-Starred Soul

I breathe on
I live on
In the night of the sun
In the day of the moon
I dream on
I sing on
Through the rain
Against the wind
I see stars in the blue sky
Green stars flashing across
Slowly fast jumping past the speed of light
Words drip fast slowly into my mind
Half forgotten like the morning dream
That fades away because of the so-many-other things
To do before the pen found my hand
In the dead of night
Having wasted another day
Trying desperately to remember
The feelings
The senses
The scenes
The imaginary beings that are so like the people I know
The story my mind concocted while I slept
But I forgot not having the time
To spend five minutes on my Self
In the pure selfishness of words written by and for Me
Not for money
Not for someone else's greedy demands
For me
That forgotten person
Who in the the light of morning wants
To sit comfortably curled within the coffee cup
Of a dream for a luxurious moment
Listening for the last drop of wisdom
Bitter and sweet
Spoken by a sleepy other me brain
That doesn't know it lives a life split from reality
Oh the joy of not forgetting silly dreams is lost on Me
Who mourns for long dead poems
That melted away like the quiet voice
That no longer speaks
Like the sad little kid
Who sits happily alone enjoying the solitude
I have been alone
And yet have forgotten how to be alone
To be prolifically alone
I putter doing things I should do
Instead of things I must do
Thus avoiding the life within my soul
That may not exist forever in the short time remaining
That grows ever shorter with each breath
Tears drip from my pen
A torrent on my filled pages
Hiding sad events away
Within a drafty garage filled with boxes
Of old memories getting crushed over time
As they sit unloved
Unseen
Hidden from my soul that wants
To exist again and forever
To sing breathing the earth
Deeply into my lungs
Soiling my heart as seedlings struggle
To survive until the morning light comes
And I water my soul with attention
Listening to the songs sung each day
Within my body
I shine with fire that burns ignorance away
That was always with me in me around me
That connects me to my children
To my lover
To my Self
I breathe on and on and on
And come closer to the end of time
That beats on and on and on
At my fingertips
Onto peaceful green pages
Non-digitized
Old-fashioned
Quiet and alone and patiently waiting
For me to find them again
Sitting under a tree
Without distraction or interruption
I have finally remembered it
In the dark of night
With barely enough light to see
Tired beyond my mind
Out of my mind I cannot stop
The stream keeps flowing
Bubbling up hot into a cold mountain lake
Clearly a wake up call to continue creating
Diving into every wonderful moment I am given
Even if it is my last
Especially if it is

Invisible Line

The one that you cross
or that crosses you
leading to situations you didn't want to be in
or did but didn't know it
but anyway you are there
where prayers are silent
heartbeats last for hours
silence roars like a red river
questions stick in your throat
voices flash like lightning bolts
echoes thunder in your head
Why am I here?

That Wonderful Yesterday

October 6, 2010, 10:06am and 3:27pm

Feel yesterday in today

Arms hugging curves and muscles

Demands melt away

M&Ms in the heat of us

Sweet kisses flutter from our eyes

Sparking the air between

Attracting breath bound in love

Looming ventures in time

You looked at me without me knowing

I loved you without you looking

Steps crossed over and over in an endless search

Until one yesterday

The air was wet

The leaves crunched

Our breath was deep

We met

We passed each other

We circled looking back

Hoping to pass closer next time

Each time

Pushing others out of the way

Until all left was just us

That wonderful yesterday

Under a dark sky

Filled with stars

Night hawks singing

We kissed

Feeling today in yesterday

Jelly in space

Sometimes the light in places with no windows can be truly amazing especially as strange beings without bones fly in and out of invisibility, light winking them in and then out of existence in the blink of an eye. The creature, gone like a sun setting, is remembered only here in this space, flying through eternity in an instant.

Health Benefits Of A Cheese Noodle

A brilliant little tidbit from my eldest son,
Jackson, who will be four this November,
set me laughing
and then wondering about the health benefits of cheez doodles,
in this case the organic version from Wild Oats,
which tastes much more like cheese,
with the still satisfying crunch of the original,
without the puffiness or as much finger staining,
and as my Jax munched happily
on his orange snack sticks in his blue melamine bowl
while I typed on my all too small little laptop,
trying hard not to hit more than one key at a time,
he looks at me coughing just a little bit,
which is why we were both home together today,
he was sick and couldn't go to school,
and he looks me right in the eyes and says,

Mom, cheez noodles made my cough go away.

Did they? How'd they do that, I asked him?

Ya, they made me all better because there is air in them.

Reach for the low hanging fruit

I like to tape notes around me
Little yellow leaves
Reminding me what to do
Think big
Change the world
Confidently follow your dreams
I like things that inspire me to live well
And this week at work
I heard
Don't send us big ideas
We don't understand
Don't expect anyone to answer you
We are all overwhelmed
Why don't you just pick the low hanging fruit

I am underwhelmed and silent
Mother Teresa said you are where you need to be
But I feel that I am needed somewhere else
I don't fit here picking the falls off the ground
When I want the bright, shining apples
Growing at the top of the tree

the Ocean

i cannot see the end of you
maybe the beginning
but there are so many
i know only this one
here at my fingertips
nails filled with sand
each grain different
than the others
dripping from my grasp
as i carry each back to its start
and run laughing from you
to start again and again
never in vain
never in stress
never getting very far
none the less
yet i would labor all day
just for the joy of being near you